unhelpful english | 2017-02-22

though through tough thorough thought it can be thoroughly thought through, english is a difficult and oft-times unhelpful language.

consider this unwritten rule:

“…adjectives in English absolutely have to be in this order:  opinion-size-age-shape-colour-origin-material-purpose Noun. So you can have a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife. But if you mess with that word order in the slightest you’ll sound like a maniac. It’s an odd thing that every English speaker users that list, but almost none of us could write it out. And as size comes before colour, green great dragons can’t exist.” (ref. @MattAndersonBBC)

or consider how the meaning of this sentence changes as you stress each of the words:

i never said she stole my money

or consider adding the word ‘only’ anywhere in the following sentence:

she told him that she loved him

what of broken rhymes like womb, tomb, bomb? why are we missing out on the onomatopoeia there?

it is something of a miracle that so many foreign-tongued people reach a mastery of this foreboding and arcane linguistic system.

but english is not just unhelpful in and of itself — it is also missing things. despite being born of two distinct language families, english still fails to accurately describe a variety of emotions and states of being that are common to humans and granted the benefit of words in other languages:

l’appel du vide (“call of the void”) | that urge you get to throw yourself from a high place or jump out in front of a train, even if you aren’t suicidal

sonder | the realization that you are an insignificant bystander in the lives of all strangers around you; their lives are complex, full, and rich, just like yours, but you play no role in theirs nor they in yours

brabant | the desire to see just how far you can push someone before they snap

ilinx | the strange excitement felt from causing wanton destruction

malu | the sudden experience of feeling constricted, inferior, or awkward around people of higher status (like a boss or a pretty girl)

torschlusspanik (“door closing panic”) | the fretful sensation of time running out | bonus: Torschlusspanik ist ein schlechter Ratgeber (“Torschlusspanik is a bad adviser”)

kalsarikannit | drinking at home, alone, in your underwear, with no intention of going out

hiraeth | homesickness for a place you cannot return to or have never been

there are countless other instances of these types of words in many different languages.

also, there are lovely words for concepts that english hasn’t acquired that, perhaps, we should:

mudita | (sanskrit) taking delight in the happiness of others

komorebi | (japanese) sunlight filtering through trees

voorpret | (dutch) the sense of enjoyment felt before the party starts

mamihlapinatapai | (yagan) the wordless look shared between two people who are both unwilling to initiate their shared desire

fernweh | (german) the longing to travel; missing the place you’ve never been

jayus | (indonesian) a joke so poorly told, you can’t help but laugh

gigil | (filipino) the urge to pinch or squeeze very cute things/people

hygge | (danish) taking pleasure in the presence of gentle or soothing things; absence of annoyance

utepils | (norwegian) to sit outside on a sunny day, drinking beer

laotong | (mandarin) the bond between two girls for eternity (BFFs)

backpfeifengesicht | (german) a face badly in need of a fist

shemomedjamo | (georgian) to continue eating when full because the food is delicious

consider the beautiful sound of these words and word pairs: